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Eco-News on the Net

The Grist List

A Happy Meal still looks ‘fresh’ on its first birthday
by Ashley Braun

A newborn Happy Meal.Joann BrusoHappy birthday to you, you look just like new. A year later you can’t tell, and the fries still don’t smell. Happy birthday, dear Happy Meal, happy birthday to you!

This is what a Happy Meal looks like before—and after—Joann Bruso put it on her shelf for one year.

This is what she had to say after staring at Ol’ McDonald’s little box of joy for so long:

NOPE, no worries at all. My Happy Meal is one year old today and it looks pretty good. It NEVER smelled bad. The food did NOT decompose. It did NOT get moldy, at all. ...

I think ants, mice and flies are smarter than people, because they weren’t fooled. They never touched the Happy Meal. Children shouldn’t either.

The little tyke at one year!Joann BrusoTurns out the only slow thing about fast food is how long it takes to decompose.

Via BoingBoing.

New York City gets big reaction to new sex symbol

Chanel gives global warming the cold shoulder in Paris fashion show

Performance issues in Chicago men’s room reek havoc on water conservation
by Ashley Braun

Sustainable Sanitation via FlickrThe backup in the bathrooms of Chicago’s City Hall is so foul that no amount of Pepto Bismol is going to help.

Well-meaning politicians installed waterless urinals in the public men’s room to save a little water, but they were pissed to learn about the stinky flood of urine building up behind the bathroom walls.

Corroding copper pipes are taking a leak all over the Windy City’s efforts at holding its water use down. Apparently the ratio of water-saved-to-wafting-stink became too much for the politicians, who have been forced to work with their own stench for a change.

I think we can all read the pee on the wall here: these waterless urinals have got to go.

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A Happy Meal still looks ‘fresh’ on its first birthday

New York City gets big reaction to new sex symbol

New York City gets big reaction to new sex symbol
by Ashley Braun

When the Big Apple’s health department tried putting out free condoms, it found the recipients were less than stimulated by the wrapper’s appearance. To sex it up, the city held an online contest to design a new package, 15,000 voters got in on the action, and of course, one hot symbol nailed it.

The condom design that came out on top? The international sign for the power button. Six million of these limited-edition rubbers will hit the roads of New York City, turning on sex lives and (hopefully) powering down overpopulation.

After all, New Yorkers are all about power: power shopping, power trips, and now ... power condoms. But if the city runs out of these rubbers, will the residents pitch tents outside city hall in protest? That’s the kind of news we hope won’t break.

Like what you see? Sign up to receive our email roundup of pun-usual green news just like this—we call it “The Grist List”—every Friday.

Performance issues in Chicago men’s room reek havoc on water conservation

Chanel gives global warming the cold shoulder in Paris fashion show

Chanel gives global warming the cold shoulder in Paris fashion show
by Ashley Braun

Chanel designer Karl Lagerfeld made a clothes call about his thoughts on global warming during Paris Fashion Week. Unlike those other designers who prefer diamonds, Karl flooded the runway with real ice: a 240 metric ton iceberg sculpture in a room that was chilly in temperature, but not in reception to his global cooling theme.

Karl may make fake fur mod, but he’ll only appease the polar bears until they start sweating out of their skin. Personally, we’re not convinced Karl’s wooly wardrobe and climatic condescension are quite yeti ready-to-wear.

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Performance issues in Chicago men’s room reek havoc on water conservation

New York City gets big reaction to new sex symbol

You may be bike-curious if ...
by Ashley Braun

earlblumenauer.comInterested in experimenting with the more than 45 million other Americans out there trying it?

Exhausted by this nation’s tedious affair with one type of transport?

Wondering if you might like spinning your wheels the other way?

Then, you may be bike-curious, says Oregon Congressman Earl Blumenauer. This Portland politician is pedaling bi-opportunities left and right: bipartisanship, bipeds, and bicycling. If you’re into it, take the bike-curious pledge, and give the banana seat a ride at least once a week. But if you’re still questioning, find out what kind of bike-curious you might be.

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A Happy Meal still looks ‘fresh’ on its first birthday

Four obstacles facing electric bike popularity

How many Venezuelan soldiers does it take to change a lightbulb?
by Ashley Braun

An entire army, apparently.

El Presidente of Venezuela, Hugo Chavez, put in big orders for energy efficiency when he commanded the country’s lightbulbs get swapped for CFLs. Why the power play? A drought of hydropower has the nation in energy crisis and the military armed with efficient lightbulbs, laying waste to every wasteful incandescent in their path. The troops are battling against the highest per capita energy use on the continent, but the spoils of war will ease the shift from years of being spoiled by oil.

Viva efficiency!

Via inhabitat

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Open letter to Sens. Kerry, Graham, and Lieberman: a bipartisan path forward on energy and climate

A Happy Meal still looks ‘fresh’ on its first birthday

Banana briefs are growing on us
by Ashley Braun

Gents, if the thought of pesticides on your privates bums you out, then start thinking outside the boxer. AussieBum has gone down under to pioneer briefs that put a banana in your pants.

That’s right, these skivvies are a smoothie mix of banana tree-bark fibers, organic cotton, Lycra (cough), and an “eco friendly flavor that will keep you coming back for seconds.” Mmm ... yeah.

Hat tip to our friends at HuffPost Green. We just couldn’t pass up the op-pun-tunity.

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A Happy Meal still looks ‘fresh’ on its first birthday

Performance issues in Chicago men’s room reek havoc on water conservation

A recipe for delish disaster: global warming hot apple pie
by Ashley Braun

apocalypsecakes.wordpress.com

Just because the planet is turning up the heat, doesn’t mean we should get out of the kitchen.

If we’re going to be globally baking anyway, we might as well take a slice out of the life of pi pie of life while we’re at it. So go eat up this delectable recipe for Global Warming Hot Apple Pie from Apocalypse Cakes before the Senate tries something crazy ... like addressing climate change.

“Good news: it’s easy to keep your pie warm when it’s 140 degrees outside. Bad news: you’re decomposing from heat-rot.”

And while that pie’s in the oven, the recipe recommends you start searching for those sea-level-rise pool floaties. Wheee!

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Performance issues in Chicago men’s room reek havoc on water conservation

New York City gets big reaction to new sex symbol

Cocaine addicts are snorting their way to a warmer world
by Ashley Braun

Passetti via Flickr

You may snort at the news, but it’s the real snuff: Cocaine is hard on your sinuses, but it’s not crazy fun for the planet either. Celebs’ favorite nose candy is knocking down rainforest in party favor of coca plants, thus speeding up climate change.

In fact, “for every few lines of cocaine snorted in a London club, four square meters of rainforest is destroyed.” That’s hard to take. Why don’t users drop the bad habit and drink cocaine or hit up some killer cheese instead?

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Performance issues in Chicago men’s room reek havoc on water conservation

New York City gets big reaction to new sex symbol

Is ‘Birdemic’ the best/worst apocalyptic thriller of all time?
by Ashley Braun

If it weren’t for some seriously nom-nom-y green Oscar noms, I’d be either A.) extremely embarrassed or B.) extremely pumped about the future of enviro films after watching the trailer for “Birdemic: Shock and Terror.” Or both.

What do you have to dread look forward to if you catch this latest internet fever?

“Woefully inept actors driv[ing] around in a blue Mustang for what seems like eternity while occasionally fumbling their way through a few lines about Global Warming while poorly animated .gif-birds float motionlessly and make terrible screeching noises.”

—Alex Blagg, blogger/sucker who actually watched the whole thing.

Well? Don’t be a birdbrain, flock to the theaters to see what’s sure to be a cult hit! And, of course, have your hangers at the ready.

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Performance issues in Chicago men’s room reek havoc on water conservation

New York City gets big reaction to new sex symbol